Greeting Cards = More Frustrating Than You Think

The biggest question of our time: when I put in X amount of socks into the dryer, how come (X-7) socks come out of the dryer?

The second biggest question of our time: when I'm browsing through greeting cards and decide I don't like a particular one, how come I can never find where to put it back after I'm done?


The biggest question is universal, the second biggest - I'm not sure. Maybe I'm the only one with this issue who knows. Every time I go to the greeting card section of a store (like today), I pick a card, read it, and when I decide that I don't want it, I can never find where it goes!! How does this even happen? I even make an extra effort to remember where I got it from and I do not suffer from Alzheimer's. This is some sort of government conspiracy I swear.




Am I missing something? Where does it go? I picked it up from this section....

What a Week It Has Been

shut up.


shut up.


shut up.


........... (?!?!!?)


just leave.

Revelation in My Life: I Really Don't Dig Joes

Joe the Plumber, Joe Sixpack, Joe Stalin and now Joe Wilson. boooo on all of you.

The People Over at Jif Peanut Butter Live in a Utopian Society

Whenever I see this commercial on TV, I shake my head in displeasure. So, only one piece of bread left and there's two hungry children. What EVER will mom do? She does the smart thing: tell them to split it and little Cody makes it clear that he wants the bigger piece - thus implying that the larger half is in high demand. Mom decides to let the older kid cut it [as should be the case in any house!!] but then pulls a pretty slick fast one and lets the little tyke pick which piece he wants! Obviously he picks the bigger piece. The commercial ends with the little kid cheesin' real hard and rubs it in his brother's face by saying, "I got a pretty big half!" and the older brother agrees and SMILES.

Oh heck no.

In what normal household would a child who just got gypped by their mother be happy that their younger brother got the bigger half of a PB-smothered piece of bread? Here's the answer: that would never happen. It definitely would have never happened with my younger brother and me that's for sure. Get real Jif!

When looking for the commercial on YouTube, I was going through the comments and found this gem:

Glad to see someone else in this world realizes how idealistic this commercial is. Thank you random youtube commenter.

P.S. - I believe Godzilla enjoys pie as well.