Revelation in My Life: Midwesterners Dislike Me

I was looking at the visitor statistics of my blog and noticed something quite striking: part of the Midwest Region of America refuses to visit this site. I'm a little offended..I mean, not even one visitor! Nevadans would rather gamble than blog I am sure, Colorado kids have Nuggets games to watch and mountains to snowboard on, and Utah is Utah. I understand why people from these states may not be visiting; but the midwest? Oh come ON.

The white states indicate zero visitors:

Montana, Wyoming, North and South Dakota, Nebraska..what's up you guys? Are you not feelin' this? Is there even internet over there? I honestly don't know.

News Reporters are Being Abused Nationwide

How come when it's 95+ degrees outside ABC-7 News finds it necessary to send out Bob Banfield in a dress shirt and tie to give a report stating "Yes, it is extremely hot in Ontario right now.." ? Like we don't know that ourselves? When a large hurricane strikes in Florida, you can count on witnessing a reporter in the middle of it all wearing nothing but a t-shirt, weak poncho and a sorry hat on your nightly news confirming that why yes, there is a hurricane, just in case there was any doubt in your mind. Same thing with wildfires, tornadoes, and any other natural disaster. I have no problem with a news anchor sitting pretty INSIDE the station notifying me about disasters around the country, but I do not understand why there is a need to send out reporters to go out and talk about it. I'm currently sweating bullets inside my house..my phone says it is currently 97 degrees in Northridge and I believe it. Sure enough poor Amy Murphy of Fox 11 is standing in Sherman Oaks tomato red and quite possibly dehydrated right now as I watch her on TV telling me that it is "extremely hot right now."

STOP THE ABUSE!!

Indians: Making It Rain Since 1947

Rappers, professional athletes, and Mother Nature all love to make it rain these days. It also appears that many people believe this is something new. Here's what most of the general population fails to realize: Indians [Asian not Native American..yes, I know they can literally make it rain with their rain dance, but I'm going to talk about the Asian Indians right now..] have been making it rain for years now; definitely long before Young Jeezy, Lil Wayne, or Andrew Bynum have been doing it. Weddings, birthdays, graduation parties - you name it, and you can count on several Indian Aunties and Uncles throwing the cash around like money ain't a thang. I would have to say weddings are when they definitely go all out. From my own personal experiences, once everyone hits the dance floor, you begin to notice money flying all over the place. Not too long ago I attended a wedding reception in Bakersfield and at the end of the night, there was so much money that the maintenance crew at the party hall had to sweep all the bills up with brooms! Now that is what you call big pimpin! So why do they do it? Unlike in the U.S. where people usually make it rain on scantily clad women, Indians do it essentially as a form of well wishes for whoever the celebration is for. Now I know that many other cultures have their own money dances for various occasions, but I'm just spreading the word that my brown brothers and sisters have been making it rain forever man. Sorry T-Pain, Uncle Sanjiv is the true playa in this situation.

Check this video..they're making it rain on dem Punjabis!